The John Squad
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though I'm the only one still doing this
Ten Chapters down. Oh yeah! This experience has been somewhat of a rollercoaster. Some days, I am thrilled with my achievement and give all the glory to God for allowing me to have this ability and opportunity to treasure His words. Other days, I am completely overcome with frustration and disappointment. The voice that started out in the beginning as a whisper is now frequently deafening as it screams constantly in the back of my mind, "pointless, you'll never remember all this, you've already forgotten so much, why bother with this..." I get angry with myself when I begin to listen to this voice more and more. I get angry with the enemy for putting stumbling blocks in my path. And while it pains me deeply to say it, I sometimes get angry with God for not allowing it to be easier. Nevertheless, I press onward and begin Chapter 11 this week. I am incredibly intimidated by its length and amount of dialogue. And as always, I need to spend more time reviewing previous chapters.
Some Thoughts:
Chapter 10 is now right up there as one of my favorites. Jesus is just so awesome in this chapter. He talks about His amazing power but in the context of His unfailing love for us. I love the part where He says, "The reason my father loves me is that I lay down my life - only to take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again." I spent a long time meditating on those verses.
This chapter just makes it crystal clear that Jesus willingly chose to lay His life down for us. He says twice in this chapter that He lays down His life for the sheep. No matter how many times I practiced or recited these verses, I always had to pause and take a breath for a moment. These are not words to be glossed over or said quickly for the sake of reviewing a chapter memorized. These words are the foundation of everything in which I believe. Jesus laid down His life for me.
- I'm thankful that the Word became flesh and dwelt among us. (Ch. 1)
- I'm thankful that Jesus turns my lousy, tasteless water into sweet and wonderful wine. (Ch. 2)
- I'm thankful that I will never perish but have everlasting life. (Ch. 3)
- I'm thankful that He gives me living water so that I shall never be thirsty. (Ch. 4)
- I'm thankful that He heals me at the pool even when I don't even know I'm broken. (Ch. 5)
- I'm thankful that He provides me with bread of life so that my spirit will never hunger. (Ch. 6)
- I'm thankful that He has sent the Holy Spirit to guide me through this life. (Ch. 7)
- I'm thankful that He forgives my deepest sin and looks on me with love. (Ch. 8)
- I'm thankful that He opens my blind eyes. (Ch. 9)
- I'm so thankful that He lays down His life for the sheep. (Ch. 10)
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