Final Reflections

Forty-five weeks ago, I heard God's call and embarked on a journey.  I thought it would be fun.  I thought it would be challenging.  I thought it would test my perseverance.  But I never thought it would be this life-changing.

It seems obvious to me now; if a person memorizes 879 verses of Scripture, there is going to be a profound impact.  I just never expected this experience would have such an effect on my attitude, my heart, my mind, and my life.  It's like I started out in search of a cup of water and discovered the ocean.

I have memorized the entire Book of John.  All 21 chapters, all 879 verses.  But I didn't do it.  It was done to me.  When I began, I imagined the sense of accomplishment and pride I would feel at achieving such a lofty goal.  But here at the end, I can honestly say that I do not feel an ounce of pride or accomplishment.  Rather, I am overcome with humility at what the Lord has done.  He did it.  He invited me to complete this task.  He motivated me daily.  He encouraged me when I got tired and frustrated.  He held my hand when I was overwhelmed.  He instilled in me a supernatural excitement about learning His Word.  He blessed me with the gift of understanding as I meditated on each verse.  He cleared my mind and allowed it to focus on Him, His Words, His thoughts, His message.  I was just along for the ride.  I take no credit for this accomplishment.  I could sense throughout the whole experience that I had nothing to do with it; I just showed up each day.  Like I said, I didn't do it.  It was done to me.

Let me start by listing some things that did NOT happen as a result of this experience:

• I could not get any outside help. There was no way around the task and no strategies to make it any easier.  It was just between God and me.
• I did not become any less of a sinner.  I guess knowing a lot of Bible verses doesn't make you immune to sin.
• Resisting temptation did not get any easier. In fact, it was often even more frustrating because my desire to obey was so great, that it hurt that much more when I fell.
• Merely memorizing the verses did not get me any closer to God unless I diligently pursued the message behind them.

Trying to compile a list of what I have learned seemed futile.  Words are just unable to describe the magnitude of what has happened to me.  These are just a few things that I learned while memorizing the Book of John:

• I saw firsthand how miserably human beings consistently fail.
• I saw how perfectly God loves us despite our sin and failures.
• We are so inadequate without Him and no matter how hard we try, we can't get around the fact that we need Him.  For everything.
• I learned that despite our shortcomings, He still invites us to work alongside Him.  What an honor!
• He enjoys being with us.
• He is always kind, loving, and good.  He continues reaching out to us; He stands at the door and knocks.  He doesn't condemn us for our unbelief but continues to love us and wait for us to turn to Him. 
• He provides absolutely everything for us whether or not we realize it or have thankful hearts.
• We show our love and devotion to God by our commitment to obedience.  Thankfully, God gives us the desire as well as the ability to obey.
• God is just so great.  And we are nothing unless we have Him.
• The things that I have learned about God through this study have surpassed my ability and vocabulary to express them.  I'm going to have to share John's words on this one:  "If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written."  21:25

This is the God we serve.  Let's get excited!  Let's get blown away by His Greatness!  Over the past year, I was consistently amazed at how God would reveal Himself to me in new and amazing ways.  Each day was an exciting, breathtaking exploration into the character and heart of Jesus.  His presence was never so close, so real, so tangible.  He consistently met with me each and every day and never failed to teach me something new as long as I was seeking and willing to learn.

There is something special about memorizing long portions of the Gospel.  These are some of my favorites quotes from a blog by "John Project" about his experience memorizing John.

• "I recited 10 chapters today in my review time almost flawlessly, and I am not ashamed to say that afterword's I just wept at the beauty and power of God through his word, and that he gave me such a gift, to be a vessel, a container of the words of life, what a privilege."
• "Its like the words are alive, almost in a physical sense yet not, but...alternating or phasing almost imperceptible, between dimensions."
• "Its like they want to slip off the pages and proclaim themselves but are held back by a supernatural force; and yet, here I am, absorbing these supernatural "scribblings" so called into my brain....and I can feel them, swirling around in my being, transforming my way of thinking...."
• "And although I have read them over and over for many number of years, it wasn't till I started to commit them to memory that I realized, I'm getting my freaking mind blown!"

I too have read through John many times.  But when I started to commit the verses to memory, I got my freaking mind blown.  That's pretty much all there is to it.  We have no idea the kind power that is locked inside God's Word.  Shame on us for taking it for granted.

My life has been transformed by taking a small part of that power and carefully depositing it into my heart each day:

• I realized that everything is a "God thing".  I used to reserve that phrase for when something particularly great happened.  Now I know that God is truly in everything.  I see Him everywhere.  He is in the little things as much as the big things because my eyes have been opened to see Him more clearly.
• I often spent large quantities of time working through a particular passage.  The verses would be on the forefront of my mind.  When that happened, I had an awareness of the Holy Spirit's presence throughout each and every moment of the day.  Those were the best days.  Never in my life have I felt more like the clay.  And what a blessing to have the Potter do His work in me. 
• Before, I would often select a verse or two to memorize that would help me live a better life or to avoid a certain sin.  Now, I realize the wonder and fulfillment in memorizing Jesus.  What a joy to study HIM and learn every detail of His walk here on earth.
• Before, there were two things of utmost importance to me:  my Quiet Time, and my workout.  But the workout always came first.  If I was short on time, my devotions were the first thing to go.  Now I realize that my spiritual life is far more important than anything else and my time with God ALWAYS comes first.  I haven't missed meeting with Him in many months.
• I saw that when I showed up, God showed up.  It was that simple.  If I was seeking Him, I mean really, truly pursuing Him and longing with all my heart to hear from Him, He never let me down.  And when I sought Him on a consistent basis, I grew stronger and more mature in my faith than ever before.  Of course I knew this before, but it is profoundly different to experience it and to feel firsthand the magnitude of what God's presence can do in my daily life when my heart is truly surrendered to Him. 
• I learned how important it is to memorize Scripture.  Sure, we can sit in the pew and nod our heads.  We can go to Bible Study and have a wonderful time of fellowship.  We can do our Quiet Time each day and read our designated passages.  Or we can read our happy, cutesie devotional book with the flowery pen and journal.  But nothing compares to inviting God into your heart by committing His very words to memory. 
• My perspective has completely changed.  Things I used to find important are no longer that big of a deal.  I can see the bigger picture now.  I see the Gospel and understand what life is all about.  I am here to bring Him glory.  I am here to enjoy Him and to obey.  And maybe if I can keep an eternal perspective, I can have the honor of helping to build His Kingdom.  This attitude has had a far-reaching impact in how I spend money, how I spend my time, the thoughts I allow in my mind, how I treat others, and how I make plans and goals for my life.
• I know Jesus better.  I have spent an immense amount of time with Him this past year.  As I meditated on His nature verse by verse, I was slowly transformed.  He drew me in so close and taught me great and wonderful things I never knew.  When I sing to Him in church now, I am really, really singing to Him.  When I pray, I am really, really talking to Him.  These are things I used to do before, but it's just different now. 
• I understand now that God will always continue to open my eyes to new things.  I learned a lot through studying John, but I also realize that there is so much that I still don't know.  I could study it five more times and grow stronger in my understanding and deeper in my relationship each and every time.  I have only scratched the surface of the treasures that are within His Word.
• I will never read the Bible in the same way again.  I have seen how much meaning is behind each and every word.  I have understood why seemingly meaningless details are included.  I have realized the usefulness of commentaries by godly men and the benefit of exploring the original Greek words.  These God-inspired books in the Bible are like paintings by gifted artists who used each stroke of the brush to add depth, color, and detail to create the most wondrous picture of God's ultimate message to us:  His love.
• This will sound silly, but in many cases, I felt like I was there. Some chapters took so long to memorize and I had to repeat them so many times, the pictures in my mind became abundantly vivid and real. I can distinctly remember Jesus standing up and looking into the adulterous woman's eyes to tell her she was not condemned. And I can remember Jesus' expression when he asks Peter three times if he loves Him. I smelled the perfume that Mary poured on His feet and watched the blind man rejoice as his eyes were opened. I felt Jesus' rage when he overturned the tables at the temple and I watched in wonder as He calmed the storm. I saw the detachment of soldiers fall at the sound of His voice and I cried with Mary outside the tomb. I stood with Thomas and touched His hands while He looked at me with patience and love. I saw and believed. Honestly, it's like I was there.
• There were times when I had doubts that I would be able to complete this task.  When I started, I figured I'd better memorize as fast as I could before the excitement wore off and I got tired of doing it.  But as I continued along, the excitement only grew.  I realized that the more I learned, the thirstier I was for more.  Jesus doesn't give as the world gives.  What He has to offer doesn't get old, it doesn't wear out, and you can't get sick of it. 

I don't know how much of the book of John I will be able to recite in 10 years, 5 years, 1 year, or even in a couple months.  But what I have gained through this experience can never fade away or be forgotten. 


Dear Family and Supporters,
Thank you for your patience and support as I completed this project.  Thanks for understanding how important this was to me and for sharing in my excitement as I went along.  I appreciate your encouragement and your commitment to your own Scripture memorization.  Pastor C. and Pastor E.,
I can't thank you enough for your support and guidance as I memorized the book of John. It is a privilege to be in your flock and I deeply appreciate the time you took to answer my questions. 

Dear Blog Reader,
I feel honored that you have chosen to join me throughout this life changing experience.  My prayer for you is that you will begin your own journey.  I hope that you will hear God's call on your own life, and that He will give you the courage, strength, perseverance, and excitement to obey.  Mary Magdalene stood outside the tomb looking right at Jesus and didn't know it was Him.  The fact is, He is here among us and invites us to enter into His kingdom and enjoy eternal life.  Will you recognize Him?  Or will you watch Him do amazing things and reject Him like the man at the Bethesda Pool?  Will you believe but allow your fear to prevent you from committing your life to Him like Pilate?  Or will you say, "Lord, I believe", like the blind man who was healed?  Don't read my blog and be a headshaker, nodding in agreement and then go back to your normal life.  Do something!  Get up!  Turn off the computer and pick up your Bible.  I hope that I have demonstrated the importance of Scripture memorization and adequately expressed the depth of impact it can have on one's life.  If I have, then please be inspired into action.    

Thank you, Jesus.

Signing off.   

 

Week 45: 879

Day:  314        Verses Memorized:  879           Working On:  Celebrating!

My Progress:
I memorized the Book of John!  God enabled me to memorize the Book of John.
This week, I finished Chapter 21.  The feeling is surreal.  This is, by far, my greatest spiritual accomplishment.  But at the same time, I know that the journey has not ended and I will continue to review each Chapter for a very, very long time.  In the meantime, I will spend the next week or two compiling my thoughts in order to write one final post and conclude my blog.

Some Thoughts:
Okay, so I know I've said this before, but I think 21 is one of my favorite Chapters.

"He called out to them, 'Friends, haven't you any fish?'"  I love this verse.  After saying, "peace be with you" and talking with Thomas in Chapter 20, these are among some of the first words John records Jesus saying to His disciples after the resurrection.  He calls them friends!  Just a few short verses ago, they had abandoned Him.  They ran away in fear.  They betrayed Him.  Multiple times!  And here He is, standing on the shore, calling out to them, "friends" and helping to provide for their immediate need, catching fish.  I can just picture the kindness in His face.  I imagine Him waving His hand to them with a smile and inviting them over to the fire where He has prepared a breakfast for them.  What a picture of forgiveness, love, and provision. 

And then there's Peter.  Ah, Peter, Peter.  I feel like I know him as if he were my own brother.  I think after my study in the Gospel of John, I would like to learn more about Peter.  First of all, I love that he and John ran to the tomb in Chapter 20.  (As a runner, I also love how John is sure to mention 3 times that he can run faster than Peter.)  Then, in the boat, when John points out that Jesus is on the shore, Peter jumps right into the water.  I admire his love and devotion to the Lord, even in the midst of his weakness and failures.

Then comes the heartwrenching reinstatement of Peter.  Jesus asks him three times if he loves Him.  This is one of those passages where the commentary was crucial for my understanding.  First of all, Jesus already gave Simon the name Peter back in Chapter 1.  But here, he uses his former name of Simon, almost the way a parent might use a child's full name if they're trouble.  Jesus is asking if Peter loves Him (agape/full devotion love).  But Peter answers that he only loves Him (phileo/strong feeling love).  He knows that he can't profess agape love to Jesus after he betrayed him three times.  Then, the third time, Jesus changes and uses phileo, which totally crushes Peter's feelings.  The way I understand it, the passage would almost read like this:
Jesus:  Simon, do you truly love, love me with all your heart?
Peter:  Yes Lord, you know that I really like you a lot.
Jesus:  Simon, do you truly love, love me with all your heart?
Peter:  Yes Lord, you know that I really like you a lot.
Jesus:  Simon, do you really even like me a lot?
Peter:  (Crushed and heartbroken)  Lord, you know everything.  Surely you know how much I love you.

Peter has no answer.  All he could do was appeal to Jesus' omniscience and say, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you."  I feel like that sometimes.  Sometimes I sit in prayer and have no idea what to say and I dwell there with the hope that Jesus just understands and knows.  I know that I have no ability to keep any promises to Him unless He enables me to do it.  It's just amazing how much we need Jesus for absolutely everything. 

Then came the ultimate heartbreaking passage.  I reckon this is the last time I will be taken off guard and find myself crying while memorizing verses in John.  "When you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go."  These words ripped my heart out.  I just love Peter so much and to hear Jesus say those words to him was so disturbing.  Hard to explain my thoughts on this one.  It just made me really sad.

 

879 verses.  21 chapters.  1 Gospel of John.

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Jesus. 

Additional Thoughts:
Have you ever watched someone realize they have lost their wallet?  Or their phone?  These days, wallets, keys, and phones are an absolute necessity for daily living.  If they get lost, it is a serious crisis!  People search frantically, beating their pockets as if they smack them enough times, it's going to magically appear. 

Well... that was me this past week.  I lost my Book of John.  I have a little copy that I carry around with me.  It goes with me everywhere.  (To be quite honest, I have several copies:  one on the treadmill, one by my bed, and one in the diaper bag.  ...I should note that the diaper bag is considered my purse.)  So I got into bed one night and turned on my little lamp to study my verses and the book was gone!  I could instantly feel my heart beating faster as I ran around the house in a desperate and frantic search.

Long story short, I found it under the bed.  A child (they're everywhere around this place) had gone into my room and messed up all my stuff (that happens from time to time).  He or she had gathered a nice little pile of my belongings under the bed and there on the top, was my precious Book of John.  As the crisis was averted, I sat back down in bed with my heart racing.  It wasn't long before I realized the level of importance that this book has achieved in my life.  While I was aggravated at whichever child had done this despicable act (and at myself for obviously not providing adequate supervision), I was overcome with joy to know that God's Word has become so infinitely valuable in my life; that I would search for it with all my might, as if I had lost my wallet, or keys, or phone.  And how much more satisfying to know that I have every one of those 879 verses carved into my heart so that this book is truly always with me, even without the paper and the binding. 

Week 44: Last Chapter

Day:  307          Verses Memorized:  854          Working On:  John 21:1-14

My Progress:
Chater 20 is finished and I am officially on the last Chapter of John.  I am beyond thrilled to think that I am going to achieve my goal of memorizing John in 2 years (as well as my secret goal to memorize it in 1).  Nothing can deter my progress now!  --Not even the most awful stomach virus in the world that has been ripping its way through my family this week.

Some Thoughts:
Chapter 19 was awesome.  Jesus is resurrected and we get to see the poignant reunions with his disciples and loved ones.

"then the disciples went back to their homes, but Mary stood outside the tomb crying."  (That totally would've been me.)

I love the verse, "Jesus said to her, 'Mary'".  She instantly recognizes Him and falls at His feet.  Memorizing these verses, I almost felt like I was there. 

Then we get to Thomas.  He wasn't with the other disciples for Jesus' initial appearance and wouldn't believe the news when they told him.  I love that Jesus appears again a week later and says, "put your finger here; see my hands.  Reach out your hand and put it into my side.  Stop doubting and believe."  Jesus didn't rebuke Thomas or give him a hard time.  He simply revealed Himself with love.  Thomas is another guy in the Bible who I feel gets a bad rap when really, wouldn't we all have reacted in the same way?

These are just a few of those biblical moments that I wish I had the privilege of witnessing firsthand.  The incredible depth of emotion and the tangible victory of Jesus over sin and death must have been tremendous to experience. 

And once again, I am in the Bible.  "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."  I'm one of the ones who has not seen and yet has believed!  Totally awesome.

My ultimate favorite verse:  "But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name."  I can almost picture John in my mind writing these words.  And he is writing them to us!  After memorizing over 800 verses, not only have I grown closer to Jesus, but I have developed this inexplicable love and respect for John for writing this book.  I feel a tremendous sense of fellowship and brotherhood when I think about John and look forward to the abundant joy I will experience when I meet him in glory someday.  In the meantime, I am loving more and more each day that we gave our sweet baby boy the name John. 

One chapter to go.  I'm feeling a little sad that it's almost over...

Week 43: He Gave His Life

Day:  300          Verses Memorized:  832          Working On:  John 20:1-18

 

My Progress:

I finished Chapter 19 and am so excited to be at the last two Chapters of John!  The end of 19 went well and I've already got a good handle on the beginning of 20.  I can't believe I'm so close to the end.  Of course, as I keep saying, this will continue to be a work in progress.  I've been plowing through since Chapter 15 and haven't taken much time to go back and review previous chapters.  So when I "finish", I will definitely be spending significant time reviewing the entire book.  I will not let all this hard work slip out of my mind.  I know that there is life-long review in my future and I am happy that God not only called me to the challenge, but has equipped me for the task. 

 

 

Some Thoughts:

I had one of the most eye-opening realizations this week as I studied these verses.  Here it is:

 

Jesus gave His life for us.

 

Now, you may have heard that already.  I know I have certainly heard it many, many times.  But memorizing this chapter has transformed my understanding of the concept of Jesus "giving" His life for us.  I always thought that Jesus willingly went to the cross and allowed the soldiers to crucify Him, killing Him with a terrible death.  While the part about Jesus willingly going to the cross to be crucified is true, Jesus wasn't killed!  I always thought they nailed Him to the cross and He allowed the crucifixion to kill Him.  But this is not so!

 

"When he had received the drink, Jesus said, 'It is finished.'  With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit."  (19:30)  Yes, I have heard these verses a trillion times.  It just goes to show you how being "familiar" with Scripture doesn't mean it automatically grants you understanding or impacts your life in any way. 

 

I always thought that Jesus simply allowed the crucifixion to kill Him.  But these verses clearly show that Jesus chose the exact moment when He was going to lay down His life.  Just a few short chapters ago, I memorized, "the reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life - only to take it up again.  No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord.  I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again."  (10:17)  In fact, had I not memorized Chapter 10, I still might not have even made this connection.  Jesus had complete authority to choose the very moment that He would lay down His life, which obviously, was much earlier than most victims of crucifixion.  Everything was finished.  He had done everything.  He obeyed and completed every task that the Father had given Him.  And He bowed His head, and gave up His spirit.  Amazing.

 

So Jesus was not killed.  He didn't "allow people to kill Him".  He chose Himself to give up His own Spirit.

 

This was a big deal for me.  Maybe this is obvious to lots of people and I'm just spiritually immature, but it was such an incredible experience meditating on these verses this past week.  I was always thankful that Jesus willingly carried His cross up that hill.  But when I realized that Jesus didn't die because of physical injury and that He, in His power and authority, chose the very moment that He was going to lay down His life, I was awestruck.  Already in my mind, He was so amazing and mighty.  It's just incredible that He can continue to reveal Himself to me in new and different ways that make Him even more glorious. 

 

 Jesus gave His life for us.

 

 

 



 

Week 42: Sweet Jesus, My King

Day:  293          Verses Memorized:  810          Working On:  Finishing Chapter 19

My Progress:
I broke the 800 mark!  I couldn't believe it just now when I tallied up the verses and realized that I only have 61 to go.  While I'm happy with my progress in the amount of verses I've done, I have not been too overjoyed with the content of this chapter. Some of the verses are quite difficult and I get angry when I have to go over it so many times because it is heart wrenching.  At any rate, this was a very successful week and the best part was, I caught up to my Pastor who has been preaching on John for the last year!  How exciting it will be next week when he does the scripture reading and I will have it memorized.  And I can't wait to hear the message.  I'm more motivated than ever and I'm looking forward to finishing 19 this week, the longest chapter I have left.

Some Thoughts:
First of all, I feel like a complete idiot because for many months I have been worrying in anticipation of memorizing the crucifixion.  I had no idea that John doesn't really include that many details about it!  "Here they crucified him" is pretty much the extent of the details.  I can't believe I worried for so long about something that wasn't even there.  (Hmm, that about sums up a lot of my life.  How about you?)

While I was pleased that I didn't have to memorize the awful details about beatings, blood, and nails, there was certainly no shortage of disturbing verses:

• "They clothed him in a purple robe and went up to him again and again, saying 'Hail, king of the Jews!'  And they struck him in the face."  This verse just makes me so dang angry.
• "When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, 'Dear woman, here is your son,' and to the disciple, 'Here is your mother.'"  Sweet, sweet Jesus.  Who on earth would be thinking of taking care of other people under such horrific circumstances?  As a mother, this is one of the verses in John that has touched my heart the most.
• "A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus' lips."  Can you imagine being the guy who lifted the sponge up to Jesus' lips while He was hanging on the cross?
• "When he had received the drink, Jesus said, 'It is finished.'  With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit."  I feel unworthy to even comment on this verse.  And the words in my vocabulary are grossly inadequate to express what this verse means to me.

I do believe it's important to meditate on these things.  This is the reality of what Jesus has done for us.  This was God's precious plan from the beginning of time.  We can't lose sight of the Gospel and the picture of not only His infinite love and mercy, but also the immeasurable price that was paid for it.

   

Week 41: Poor Pilate

Day:  286          Verses Memorized:  780          Working On:  Chapter 19:1-16

My Progress:
Wahoo!  I finished Chapter 18 and have a good start into 19.  I'm getting a little sick of memorizing the unraveling of Pilate, but I am so excited to be this close to the end.

 

Some Thoughts:

Pilate, Pilate, Pilate.  Poor Pilate.  I feel so sorry for him.  First of all, I think he gets a bad rap from a lot of people and I'm not certain he deserves as much criticism as he gets.  Of course, don't get me wrong... He is a wimpy coward who had no guts to stand up for what he thought was right and cared more about his political career than his integrity or anybody else besides himself.  However, we are all faced with the exact same decision that Pilate had and dare I say, many of us act in precisely the same way.  (Go back and reread my run-on sentence about Pilate and ask if there isn't some measure of truth in a description of yourself.)

 

Nine times we see Pilate going in and out of the palace.  He talks with the Jewish leaders, he talks with Jesus.  He thinks for a while.  He talks to his wife.  Back outside, back inside.  The poor guy's head must have been spinning.  Pilate repeatedly states that he finds no basis for a charge against Jesus.  And yet, "finally, Pilate handed him over to them to be crucified." 

 

Aren't we all faced with Jesus standing in our palace?  Doesn't He stand before each one of us and give us a choice?  Perhaps some of us are quick to accept and honor Him.  Maybe some will even step out onto the balcony of the palace and put the chief priests in their place.  But how many of us are just like Pilate?  Do we walk in and out of the palace unable to choose whose side we're on?  Do we struggle to hang onto our "power" and reputation in this world?  Deep down, we want to accept Jesus, but we're unable to let go of the things of this world that we hold so dear.

 

I don't believe Pilate hated Jesus or wanted to see Him crucified.  He was just not man enough to do the right thing.  Sadly, many of us wander in and out of the palace as we choose whether to live a comfortable and easy life here, or to deny this world and surrender to the man with a crown of thorns and purple robe.

 

So where do you stand?  Do you walk back and forth deciding when to follow Jesus and when to fit in with the world?  If you do, then leave Pilate alone. 



Week 40: Choose Your Side

Day:  279          Verses Memorized:  765          Working On:  Finishing Chapter 18

My Progress:
I've been doing this for 40 weeks.  It has become a new way of life.  I am just about done with Chapter 18 and will need a couple more days to smooth it out.  I am so close to the end and it's getting really exciting.

Some Thoughts:
18:4  "Jesus, knowing all that was going to happen to him, went out and asked them, 'who is it you want?'"  Jesus was in the olive grove with His disciples.  When the detachment of soldiers came, Jesus went out to meet them!  We know how deeply troubled He was and yet we see how eager He was to fulfill the Father's will.  Once again, I am unable to comprehend a love like that.

18:6  "When Jesus said, 'I am he,' they drew back and fell to the ground."  The commentaries say that this doesn't mean "I am He."  It means, "I AM."  Jesus was stating that He was indeed God.  And what an awesome thing that at the mere mention of His identity, He is able to knock hundreds of soldiers off their feet.  And I'm glad that John adds the detail that Judas was standing there with them.

18:18  "It was cold, and the servants and officials stood around a fire they had made to keep warm."  Now, I am a woman who absolutely abhors being cold.  I can't stand it.  The fact that it was cold just makes this night seem even more awful to me.

18:21  "When Jesus said this, one of the officials nearby struck him in the face."  So this is exactly what I've been dreading since I began this whole process.  All these many weeks, I have had an underlying fear of getting to this point.  Now I am here and I don't like it.  It makes me uncomfortable and breaks my heart.  I don't know if I want to memorize what my sin did to Jesus.  When I got to this verse, I learned it absolutely as quickly as I possibly could.  I didn't want to say it over and over again, so I read it twice and really concentrated on it.  Unfortunatey, I know the worst is yet to come.

18:27  "Again Peter denied it, and at that moment a rooster began to crow."  I can't imagine the remorse Peter felt as he wept bitterly over his betrayal of Jesus.  And yet, I remember the countless times I choose to betray Him with my sin.

18:37  "...for this reason I came into the world, to testify to the truth.  Everyone on the side of truth listens to me."  I'm relieved to know that I have chosen the side of truth and I am thankful that I have the opportunity to listen to Him.  While I am flawed, broken, and fully dependant on Him for everything, it is my joy to serve Him.

Choose your side, folks. 

Week 39: Forty-Nine Times

Day:  272          Verses Memorized: 740          Working On:  John 18:1-11

My Progress:
Well, I suppose I finished Chapter 17.  By "finished", I mean that I think it's about as good as it's going to get.  I was spending close to an hour for every 2-3 verses and the frustration was killing me.  I understand that this whole project will continue to be a work in progress, so while 17 is still a little shaky, I don't feel guilty about moving on.  Chapter 18 looks easier to memorize because it is more of a story format.  However, there is an awful lot of dialogue which means here comes the "said, replied, answered" confusion.  It is also 40 verses, so I don't expect to do it in a week. 

Some Thoughts:
Don't waste your time reading some chick's blog on the Internet.  Turn your computer off and go read John 17.  Then, read it again.  After that, read it a few more times.  I guarantee that each time you read it, God will show you something new, and you will stand in amazement at the Savior you have.

Chapter 17 is completely mind-blowing.  And I know I'm only scratching the surface of understanding it.  This is one of those chapters that you could probably spend a year studying.  You could probably write an entire book about each and every verse.  If someone living in some distant tribe came across a torn page of a Bible and it was John 17, it would be enough spiritual food for a lifetime and more than enough to bring them to a saving faith in Christ.

49 times.  That is how many times Jesus refers to us in His prayer the night He was arrested.  And the prayer is only 26 verses long!  49 times He refers to "they, them," or "those you have given me."  His entire focus was on His disciples and on US!  I just can't begin to comprehend that kind of love.

"Now this is eternal life:  that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent."  That about sums it up!  Since studying this chapter, my prayer-life has completely transformed.  I no longer barge into God's presence with a chip on my shoulder and a list of requests in my hand.  My prayers are no longer for the things I want.  My prayer is that I will know Him.  Every other request is filtered through the desire of wanting to know Him more.  Life is all about knowing who He is, basking in His presence, rejoicing in His love, resting in His peace.  Oh, how I want to know Him more.

"I pray for them."  How Jesus was praying for anyone else other than Himself is unfathomable.

"I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you.  Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name."  The foremost thought on His mind was His people.  Here, He is praying for His sweet disciples' protection.

"I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message."  Jesus prayed for me!

"I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one."  Jesus gave us glory?  The glory that God gave Him?  Now, I am just beginning to understand a small measure of God's infinite Holiness, and how His glory is a reflection of that Holiness.  To even think for a moment that I would have any share of this amazing, perfect, beautiful glory that is a manifestation of God's Holiness...  I just have no words.

"...to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me."  God loves us as He loved Jesus.  Again, no words.

"Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am..."  Jesus prayed that He wants me to be with Him.  How do you even punctuate a sentence like that.  Jesus prayed that He wants me to be with Him!  Jesus prayed that He wants me to be with Him?  Jesus prayed that He wants me to be with Him.  Jesus prayed that He wants me to be WITH Him.  How do you even comprehend a portion of what that means let alone assign words to express the magnitude of its meaning.

"I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them."

I like communicating with others.  I find pleasure in putting my thoughts down on paper.  I feel somewhat well-spoken, as though I can easily convey my thoughts and feelings to others.  But this...  I just have no words.  I can't even begin to comment on the significance of the words in this chapter.  There is just nothing to say. 

My prayer for you, reader, is that the Holy Spirit would open your eyes and heart the way He has opened mine and that you will be able to experience the awe-inspiring, magnificent, Holy and glorious Savior that folded His hands of flesh and prayed for you and me that we might all be truly united in His infinite glory.

Week 38: I Have Overcome the World!

Day:  265          Verses Memorized:  714          Working On:  Chapter 17
The John Squad
Please click here to chart your own progress - even though I'm the only one still doing this

My Progress:
Chapter 16 is finished.  I was happy when I finished it in only 4 days because it allowed me to get a headstart on Chapter 17.  Unfortunately, however, 17 has proved to be extremely difficult and I doubt I will be able to finish it by next week.  It is Jesus' prayer for Himself, His disciples, and the world.  I am having a terrible time trying to get the wording right.  So I figure if I take two weeks for each chapter from 17-21, that will be 10 weeks, which will have me "finishing" John by the end of March.  Then I can take the last 4 weeks to review, review, review.  Hopefully I will be able to have the book of John well memorized by April, which will be exactly one year from when I started.  (If only Chapter 17 wasn't so darn hard...)

Some Thoughts:

I haven't had a verse bring me to tears in a while, so it caught me by surprise at the end of Chapter 16 when I was once again overcome by Jesus' sweet words.  "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble, but take heart!  I have overcome the world."  I only had to read that verse once and it was memorized.  It was seered into my heart and came more and more alive as I continued to think about it.  It was an amazing feeling of Jesus' presence, His comfort, His peace, His strength, and His love.  Who am I to be blessed with such a tangible message from my Lord?