Week 15: Filling up on Bread

Day:  104          Verses Memorized:  255          Working On:  John 6:25-59

The John Squad
(Please click here to chart your own progress!)

My Progress:
I had gotten a little stuck there for a couple weeks and the frustration was building.  However, I really feel like I'm back on track and have a new found excitement and motivation lately.  I was able to do 26 verses this week and I'm feeling good.  My biggest discouragement is how much of the previous chapters I'm forgetting.  But I will NOT let that get to me.  My plan is to finish Chapter 6, then take a couple weeks for review.  I think I have several people praying for me and that has to be the reason that my frustration was kept at bay and I am feeling more positive and motivated this week.

Some Thoughts:
So every once in a while, I'll be cooking along memorizing my verses and all of a sudden, one will jump off the page and smack me in the face.  That hadn't happened in a while and I was starting to get concerned that this whole project was becoming more academic than spiritual.  But this week, it happened twice, and I can't tell you how happy I am to hear from the Lord again.

John 6:33  "For the bread of God is he who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world."  This is one of those verses that's easy to skim through with a 'yeah, yeah' attitude.  But this time, it really hit me hard.  Jesus comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.  To the world!  I have given birth 4 times and let me tell you, it's quite an ordeal.  Thinking that Jesus came down from heaven and gives not only physical life, but spiritual life to the entire world blows my mind.

John 6:51  "This bread is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world."  This one really caught me off guard.  I was in my most-focused memorizing position, sitting with both hands cupped on my forehead and leaning over the pages.  I was saying each verse over, and over, and over.  I got to this verse and KaBam-O!  My mind came to a complete halt.  It was like I ran a hundred miles an hour into a brick wall.  Can you imagine Jesus standing there talking to these unbelieving people, many of them having the utmost contempt for Him in their hearts?  Can you imagine Him physically in your midst, close enough that you could reach out and touch his body?  To see Him standing there and say, "I will give my flesh for the life of the world." is just incomprehensible.  He gave His flesh.  He gave us everything.  And the life He is talking about is something far better and greater than we are even able to imagine.  Who can understand that?! 

The most profound and self-sacrificing statement that was made at my house this week was, "I'll let you have some of my ice cream."  And that statement was rewarded with a 10 minute praising session on how wonderful and giving it was to make such a sacrifice. 

There is just so much in this passage when you slow down and meditate on it verse by verse.  I love it when Jesus says "I am the bread of life.  He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty."  I don't know how anyone can read the Scriptures and feel anything else other than gratitude and unworthiness.  And I think it's amazing that just when I think Jesus is the most awesome He can be, I learn something new and He is even more awesome to me than before.  It's overwhelming.

I would encourage you to look over this passage sometime.  Meditate on what it means for Jesus to be bread.  Think about how hunger is one of the most basic needs of life.  Remember how it feels to be starving hungry and then how it feels to eat a piece of bread.  Bread from heaven that gives life to the world.  Amazing.

Week 14: A Fleet of Boats

Day:  96          Verses Memorized:  228          Working On:  John 6:16-24

The John Squad
(Please click here to chart your own progress!)

My Progress:
Well I sure am glad that I was gung-ho in the beginning and got some verses in the bank because I'm thankful I have the wiggle-room now.  I thought that during the summer I would have more time to spend memorizing, but it seems the days are too unstructured and there are so many fun things going on.  My husband is home for the summer and we really treasure our family time together.  By the time things settle down in the evening, I'm just wiped out.  These are not excuses.  These are just reasons why I'm not learning as much now.  I'm feeling a little disappointed and guilty about it.  But as far as the big picture goes, right now I'm about 3 months ahead of schedule.  I never thought I'd be able to learn 228 verses in less than 100 days, so I guess I should celebrate that.  However, the negative thoughts in my mind are continuing to increase...

Some Thoughts:
Dagnabbit there sure are a lot of boats in this passage!  Every other word is "boat".  Come on, John, find a synonym or use a pronoun for crying out loud! 

Since right now, all they're doing is rowing back and forth across the Sea of Galilee in boats, I don't have that many thoughts.  However, I do wonder why John is including all these details.

Week 13: Feasting on Five Loaves

Day:  89          Verses Memorized:  223          Working On:  John 6:1-15

The John Squad
(Please click here to chart your own progress!)

My Progress:
Things are moving along quite well.  I'm memorizing the passage about the feeding of the 5,000.  It's not that difficult to learn and I'm picking it up fast.  However, I'm disappointed with the amount of time I've been able to spend on it.  This week is VBS at church, so I've either been working on that or feeling wiped out from it.  But I still spend a few moments a day reviewing and while it is going slowly, I am still making progress.

I'm a little disappointed at my lack of retention of previous chapters.  I'm not sure how to hang onto the older chapters while I work on the new ones.  I have to be honest, there have been a few moments where I have heard the voice in my head say, "give up, Heidi.  This is pointless.  You're forgetting it all anyway so why continue?"  I quickly try to ignore that voice and consciously choose to pursue my goal and not buy into that lie.  But those nagging, negative thoughts are beginning to creep in more and more often.

Some Thoughts:
I never knew that the loaves of bread were barley, and that was the cheapest type of bread.  It's almost like the water into wine - the simplest, most inexpensive material being turned into an overwhelming surplus of the best.  That's Jesus for you!

I love Jesus in this passage.  (Well, I love Him all the time, but He makes me smile extra in this particular passage.)  I love how Jesus asks Philip where they're going to buy bread for everyone and in the next verse says "he asked this only to test him, for he already had in mind what he was going to do."  I just think that's funny.  I wonder what Jesus was thinking when He asked Philip.  I like how the disciples scramble around trying to figure out the logistics of feeding the people in their human minds.

I love how Jesus is orderly and organized.  (I am a rather organized person myself and thrive when things are neat and in their place. I also fall back on "God is a God of order" whenever I feel like my organization goes slightly overboard.)  I like how Jesus got everyone seated and had a planned system for distributing the food.  He just seems so calm and collected and doesn't let the enormity of the situation fluster or stress Him. 

So the past few weeks, I've been annoyed with the Jews and Pharisees for persecuting Him.  Now, I'm starting to get annoyed at the people following Him too.  I guess I always thought that even though He was persecuted, He always had such a huge following of believers as well.  But as I'm reading through various commentaries, I'm beginning to realize that a great majority of His "followers" were merely thrill-seekers looking for shows and miracles.  They did not understand who He was, His message, or why He was there.  They weren't following Him to hear from God, they were following Him because He was interesting.  That's disappointing to learn.

I wonder where I would have been if Jesus had come to my town back then.  Would I be following Him because I was seeking God?  Would I be following Him to watch Him do some cool stuff?  As I reflect on those questions, I sadly realize that I would be the one back in Chapter 5 at that stinking pool of Bethesda...

Week 12: Welcome Chapter 6!

Day:  82          Verses Memorized:  213          Working On:  John 6:1-15

The John Squad
(Please click here to chart your own progress!)

My Progress:
I can't believe it but I finished Chapter 5!  Wahoo!  Onward to Chapter 6!

Some Thoughts:

Chapter 5 was a tough pill to swallow.  I don't enjoy thinking about how I'm just like those guys who despised Jesus and yet, I do despise Him every time I choose to disobey.  I need to get rid of the pride in my life and keep things in perspective.  Who do I think I am?  I'm certainly not as great as I think, that's for sure.

At any rate, I'm looking forward to Chapter 6 and all its 70 verses.