Week 42: Sweet Jesus, My King

Day:  293          Verses Memorized:  810          Working On:  Finishing Chapter 19

My Progress:
I broke the 800 mark!  I couldn't believe it just now when I tallied up the verses and realized that I only have 61 to go.  While I'm happy with my progress in the amount of verses I've done, I have not been too overjoyed with the content of this chapter. Some of the verses are quite difficult and I get angry when I have to go over it so many times because it is heart wrenching.  At any rate, this was a very successful week and the best part was, I caught up to my Pastor who has been preaching on John for the last year!  How exciting it will be next week when he does the scripture reading and I will have it memorized.  And I can't wait to hear the message.  I'm more motivated than ever and I'm looking forward to finishing 19 this week, the longest chapter I have left.

Some Thoughts:
First of all, I feel like a complete idiot because for many months I have been worrying in anticipation of memorizing the crucifixion.  I had no idea that John doesn't really include that many details about it!  "Here they crucified him" is pretty much the extent of the details.  I can't believe I worried for so long about something that wasn't even there.  (Hmm, that about sums up a lot of my life.  How about you?)

While I was pleased that I didn't have to memorize the awful details about beatings, blood, and nails, there was certainly no shortage of disturbing verses:

• "They clothed him in a purple robe and went up to him again and again, saying 'Hail, king of the Jews!'  And they struck him in the face."  This verse just makes me so dang angry.
• "When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, 'Dear woman, here is your son,' and to the disciple, 'Here is your mother.'"  Sweet, sweet Jesus.  Who on earth would be thinking of taking care of other people under such horrific circumstances?  As a mother, this is one of the verses in John that has touched my heart the most.
• "A jar of wine vinegar was there, so they soaked a sponge in it, put the sponge on a stalk of the hyssop plant, and lifted it to Jesus' lips."  Can you imagine being the guy who lifted the sponge up to Jesus' lips while He was hanging on the cross?
• "When he had received the drink, Jesus said, 'It is finished.'  With that, he bowed his head and gave up his spirit."  I feel unworthy to even comment on this verse.  And the words in my vocabulary are grossly inadequate to express what this verse means to me.

I do believe it's important to meditate on these things.  This is the reality of what Jesus has done for us.  This was God's precious plan from the beginning of time.  We can't lose sight of the Gospel and the picture of not only His infinite love and mercy, but also the immeasurable price that was paid for it.

   

Week 41: Poor Pilate

Day:  286          Verses Memorized:  780          Working On:  Chapter 19:1-16

My Progress:
Wahoo!  I finished Chapter 18 and have a good start into 19.  I'm getting a little sick of memorizing the unraveling of Pilate, but I am so excited to be this close to the end.

 

Some Thoughts:

Pilate, Pilate, Pilate.  Poor Pilate.  I feel so sorry for him.  First of all, I think he gets a bad rap from a lot of people and I'm not certain he deserves as much criticism as he gets.  Of course, don't get me wrong... He is a wimpy coward who had no guts to stand up for what he thought was right and cared more about his political career than his integrity or anybody else besides himself.  However, we are all faced with the exact same decision that Pilate had and dare I say, many of us act in precisely the same way.  (Go back and reread my run-on sentence about Pilate and ask if there isn't some measure of truth in a description of yourself.)

 

Nine times we see Pilate going in and out of the palace.  He talks with the Jewish leaders, he talks with Jesus.  He thinks for a while.  He talks to his wife.  Back outside, back inside.  The poor guy's head must have been spinning.  Pilate repeatedly states that he finds no basis for a charge against Jesus.  And yet, "finally, Pilate handed him over to them to be crucified." 

 

Aren't we all faced with Jesus standing in our palace?  Doesn't He stand before each one of us and give us a choice?  Perhaps some of us are quick to accept and honor Him.  Maybe some will even step out onto the balcony of the palace and put the chief priests in their place.  But how many of us are just like Pilate?  Do we walk in and out of the palace unable to choose whose side we're on?  Do we struggle to hang onto our "power" and reputation in this world?  Deep down, we want to accept Jesus, but we're unable to let go of the things of this world that we hold so dear.

 

I don't believe Pilate hated Jesus or wanted to see Him crucified.  He was just not man enough to do the right thing.  Sadly, many of us wander in and out of the palace as we choose whether to live a comfortable and easy life here, or to deny this world and surrender to the man with a crown of thorns and purple robe.

 

So where do you stand?  Do you walk back and forth deciding when to follow Jesus and when to fit in with the world?  If you do, then leave Pilate alone. 



Week 40: Choose Your Side

Day:  279          Verses Memorized:  765          Working On:  Finishing Chapter 18

My Progress:
I've been doing this for 40 weeks.  It has become a new way of life.  I am just about done with Chapter 18 and will need a couple more days to smooth it out.  I am so close to the end and it's getting really exciting.

Some Thoughts:
18:4  "Jesus, knowing all that was going to happen to him, went out and asked them, 'who is it you want?'"  Jesus was in the olive grove with His disciples.  When the detachment of soldiers came, Jesus went out to meet them!  We know how deeply troubled He was and yet we see how eager He was to fulfill the Father's will.  Once again, I am unable to comprehend a love like that.

18:6  "When Jesus said, 'I am he,' they drew back and fell to the ground."  The commentaries say that this doesn't mean "I am He."  It means, "I AM."  Jesus was stating that He was indeed God.  And what an awesome thing that at the mere mention of His identity, He is able to knock hundreds of soldiers off their feet.  And I'm glad that John adds the detail that Judas was standing there with them.

18:18  "It was cold, and the servants and officials stood around a fire they had made to keep warm."  Now, I am a woman who absolutely abhors being cold.  I can't stand it.  The fact that it was cold just makes this night seem even more awful to me.

18:21  "When Jesus said this, one of the officials nearby struck him in the face."  So this is exactly what I've been dreading since I began this whole process.  All these many weeks, I have had an underlying fear of getting to this point.  Now I am here and I don't like it.  It makes me uncomfortable and breaks my heart.  I don't know if I want to memorize what my sin did to Jesus.  When I got to this verse, I learned it absolutely as quickly as I possibly could.  I didn't want to say it over and over again, so I read it twice and really concentrated on it.  Unfortunatey, I know the worst is yet to come.

18:27  "Again Peter denied it, and at that moment a rooster began to crow."  I can't imagine the remorse Peter felt as he wept bitterly over his betrayal of Jesus.  And yet, I remember the countless times I choose to betray Him with my sin.

18:37  "...for this reason I came into the world, to testify to the truth.  Everyone on the side of truth listens to me."  I'm relieved to know that I have chosen the side of truth and I am thankful that I have the opportunity to listen to Him.  While I am flawed, broken, and fully dependant on Him for everything, it is my joy to serve Him.

Choose your side, folks. 

Week 39: Forty-Nine Times

Day:  272          Verses Memorized: 740          Working On:  John 18:1-11

My Progress:
Well, I suppose I finished Chapter 17.  By "finished", I mean that I think it's about as good as it's going to get.  I was spending close to an hour for every 2-3 verses and the frustration was killing me.  I understand that this whole project will continue to be a work in progress, so while 17 is still a little shaky, I don't feel guilty about moving on.  Chapter 18 looks easier to memorize because it is more of a story format.  However, there is an awful lot of dialogue which means here comes the "said, replied, answered" confusion.  It is also 40 verses, so I don't expect to do it in a week. 

Some Thoughts:
Don't waste your time reading some chick's blog on the Internet.  Turn your computer off and go read John 17.  Then, read it again.  After that, read it a few more times.  I guarantee that each time you read it, God will show you something new, and you will stand in amazement at the Savior you have.

Chapter 17 is completely mind-blowing.  And I know I'm only scratching the surface of understanding it.  This is one of those chapters that you could probably spend a year studying.  You could probably write an entire book about each and every verse.  If someone living in some distant tribe came across a torn page of a Bible and it was John 17, it would be enough spiritual food for a lifetime and more than enough to bring them to a saving faith in Christ.

49 times.  That is how many times Jesus refers to us in His prayer the night He was arrested.  And the prayer is only 26 verses long!  49 times He refers to "they, them," or "those you have given me."  His entire focus was on His disciples and on US!  I just can't begin to comprehend that kind of love.

"Now this is eternal life:  that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent."  That about sums it up!  Since studying this chapter, my prayer-life has completely transformed.  I no longer barge into God's presence with a chip on my shoulder and a list of requests in my hand.  My prayers are no longer for the things I want.  My prayer is that I will know Him.  Every other request is filtered through the desire of wanting to know Him more.  Life is all about knowing who He is, basking in His presence, rejoicing in His love, resting in His peace.  Oh, how I want to know Him more.

"I pray for them."  How Jesus was praying for anyone else other than Himself is unfathomable.

"I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you.  Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name."  The foremost thought on His mind was His people.  Here, He is praying for His sweet disciples' protection.

"I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message."  Jesus prayed for me!

"I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one."  Jesus gave us glory?  The glory that God gave Him?  Now, I am just beginning to understand a small measure of God's infinite Holiness, and how His glory is a reflection of that Holiness.  To even think for a moment that I would have any share of this amazing, perfect, beautiful glory that is a manifestation of God's Holiness...  I just have no words.

"...to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me."  God loves us as He loved Jesus.  Again, no words.

"Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am..."  Jesus prayed that He wants me to be with Him.  How do you even punctuate a sentence like that.  Jesus prayed that He wants me to be with Him!  Jesus prayed that He wants me to be with Him?  Jesus prayed that He wants me to be with Him.  Jesus prayed that He wants me to be WITH Him.  How do you even comprehend a portion of what that means let alone assign words to express the magnitude of its meaning.

"I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them."

I like communicating with others.  I find pleasure in putting my thoughts down on paper.  I feel somewhat well-spoken, as though I can easily convey my thoughts and feelings to others.  But this...  I just have no words.  I can't even begin to comment on the significance of the words in this chapter.  There is just nothing to say. 

My prayer for you, reader, is that the Holy Spirit would open your eyes and heart the way He has opened mine and that you will be able to experience the awe-inspiring, magnificent, Holy and glorious Savior that folded His hands of flesh and prayed for you and me that we might all be truly united in His infinite glory.

Week 38: I Have Overcome the World!

Day:  265          Verses Memorized:  714          Working On:  Chapter 17
The John Squad
Please click here to chart your own progress - even though I'm the only one still doing this

My Progress:
Chapter 16 is finished.  I was happy when I finished it in only 4 days because it allowed me to get a headstart on Chapter 17.  Unfortunately, however, 17 has proved to be extremely difficult and I doubt I will be able to finish it by next week.  It is Jesus' prayer for Himself, His disciples, and the world.  I am having a terrible time trying to get the wording right.  So I figure if I take two weeks for each chapter from 17-21, that will be 10 weeks, which will have me "finishing" John by the end of March.  Then I can take the last 4 weeks to review, review, review.  Hopefully I will be able to have the book of John well memorized by April, which will be exactly one year from when I started.  (If only Chapter 17 wasn't so darn hard...)

Some Thoughts:

I haven't had a verse bring me to tears in a while, so it caught me by surprise at the end of Chapter 16 when I was once again overcome by Jesus' sweet words.  "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble, but take heart!  I have overcome the world."  I only had to read that verse once and it was memorized.  It was seered into my heart and came more and more alive as I continued to think about it.  It was an amazing feeling of Jesus' presence, His comfort, His peace, His strength, and His love.  Who am I to be blessed with such a tangible message from my Lord?