Week 11: Getting Aggravated

Day:  75          Verses Memorized:  196          Working On: John 5: 31-47

The John Squad
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My Progress:
I am still making steady progress through Chapter 5, although I still find it quite difficult.  I'm up to a passage where Jesus is doing a lot of theological talking and it's just plain hard to remember.  I'll be happy when this chapter is over, although I peeked at Chapter 6 and it seems pretty similar. 

Some Thoughts:
I was thrilled to be done with that Pool of Bethesda guy.  I couldn't stand thinking about him and it was unbearable to think that he was a representation of me.  Unfortunately, the next passage led me to many of the same stinking thoughts about myself.

I just get so annoyed with the Pharisees when they don't accept Jesus.  They argue their petty little things and completely miss the point of everything.  I kept pausing at the verse, "For this reason, the Jews tried all the harder to kill him."  I would just get mad at them for persecuting and rejecting Him.  Then I started asking myself, "for what reason do I kill Him?"  My own disobedience and sin nails Him to the cross on a daily basis.  I would even say that I am worse than the Jews in this passage.  At least they openly rejected Him.  It was clear where they stood.  But me - I am totally different.  I claim to be a child of God.  I profess that I am a follower.  Then, I turn around and mock Him by giving in to sin.  I say that I am on His side, and I betray Him.  Frequently.

All these thoughts have the potential of leading me down a road of unforgiveable guilt and failure.  I admit that I did feel that way for a couple days when I was learning about that guy at the pool.  But now, I am just all the more thankful for God's wonderful grace and mercy.  I have a deeper understanding of the Gospel and the magnitude of what Jesus did for me.  I am humbled.  I pray that this will be my permanent attitude.






 

Week 10: A Humbling Realization

Day:  68          Verses Memorized:  184          Working On:  John 5: 19-30

The John Squad
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My Progress:
Chapter 5 is not easy.  It is probably the hardest one I've encountered thus far.  Not only are there odd phrases and varied repititions, but the content has been making me so angry that I easily get distracted while trying to memorize.  Nevertheless, I am trucking along and happily approaching 200 verses.  I know I have a long way to go, but I'm trying to celebrate my victories.

Some Thoughts:
Okay so this guy is just the biggest jerk in the universe.  Chapter 5:1-18 describes the healing of a man at the Pool of Bethesda.  And I just can't stand him!  I never thought that I would have such a strong and powerful reaction against a person from centuries ago, but this guy is a real piece of work.

Things I notice about the man:

• He is the ultimate victim.  Just lying there for years. 
• When asked if he wants to get well, he answers with an excuse.  Furthermore, his excuse blames other people for not helping him!
• He shows absolutely not a single ounce of recognition or gratitude for his miraculous healing.
• He goes and tattles to the Jews about Jesus!  The bozo throws Jesus right under the bus!! ARG!

Things I notice about Jesus:

• He approaches the man and offers His help, even though the man wasn't seeking it.
• When the man answers his question with an excuse, Jesus heals him anyway.
• Jesus stuck His own neck out by healing the man on the Sabbath, knowing that it would stir up controversy.
• Later, Jesus seeks the man out and approaches him at the temple.  He checks up on him.
• Jesus tries to point the man in the right direction by advising him to turn from his sin.

My shocking, humbling, and slightly depressing realization:

Sadly, I am that man!

Every single time I read through this passage and worked on memorizing its verses, I struggled to get through it because I just began to dwell on how angry I was at this guy for his attitude.  And every single time I pinpointed my source of anger, God would remind me to take a closer look at myself.  My pride would not allow me to fully grasp the depth of this concept until I asked my Pastor his thoughts on the passage.  (I am so deeply thankful that I have two wonderful Pastors who are Biblically grounded in their teaching and always willing to offer their help and guidance.)  He emailed me the following:

I don't like this guy either.  That was what I dealt with in the lesson on this passage.  The problem is that guy is us!  That is what I believe God wants us to see from this story. Jesus has done so much for us we can't even begin to understand it all, yet we throw Him under the bus every time we do things our way instead of His way.  We see ourselves as victims of sin instead of victors over sin.  We quit trying because we can't seem to conquer the 1 or 2 sins that affect us the most.  We try to do things by ourselves instead of being totally dependant on Jesus.  The end result is the world sees Jesus as meaningless because we aren't what we should be.  It is an awful story that depicts how depraved we are when we aren't totally focused on Jesus.

I still don't like the guy.  I like the guy he represents in me, even less!

Well... that about sums it up!

Week 9: 700 Verses to Go

Day 61          Verses Memorized:  179          Working on:  John 5: 1-15

The John Squad
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My Progress:

I am definitely finished with Chapter 4, even though I still seem to mess something up each time I say it.  But there are 54 verses in this chapter, so I figure it'll never be perfect just due to human error.  At any rate, I have moved on to Chapter 5.  Since my husband contracted Lyme Disease this week, he was on his back feeling like he'd been hit by a Mack truck.  So he was unable to keep up with the memorizing.  Therefore, the video for this chapter is just me (with Kevin in the background telling me when I'm messing up).  Ha!

Some Thoughts:

I am definitely starting to slowly gain more and more understanding of Jesus' heart as I meditate on His words.  His patience, His love, His concern for us, His willingness to meet us where we are, His mercy.  These are all words that I've "thrown around" in the past but I am now realizing the depth of their meaning. 

He just always took the time for everybody.  We read about the crowds that followed Him and how many people were constantly surrounding Him.  But yet, I never get the feeling that He was in a rush, or stressed out to get to His next speaking engagement.  He was just with the people.  He spent quality time with them and cared deeply for them. 

I wonder how the royal official felt when Jesus told him to go.  He had to make a decision about his faith and choose whether or not to take Jesus at His word.  That must have been a long walk back before the servants met him with the news!

Additional Thoughts:

My 8 month old baby just began crawling around and putting every nook and cranny off the floor into his mouth.  So today I pulled out a piece of paper and saw the words "six stone water jars, the kind used by the Jews for ceremonial washing."  I immediately recognized it as John Chapter 2!  He had eaten one of my photocopied Bible pages that I carry around with me!  Because it's been in and out of my pocket so many times, it was already nice and soft, so I'm sure it digested easily.  I was extremely aggravated that now I had to re-photocopy that page and break it in again!  That feeling was quickly replaced with guilt that I was more concerned with my memory paper than I was about my son's health!  And I just can't resist the corny joke "at least he's feasting on the word of God!"  Man does not live on bread alone, right?